Last weekend of the summer, get out there and bust out some triple lindy’s, you want have another chance for 9 months.

Will be back on the weekend getting weird and such.

Have a good long weekend….

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Weekend Rundown 9/3-9/6

Television

Dangerous Encounters With Brady Barr, 9 p.m., NatGeo - Barr sits in cage while a brown bear checks him out, thinking he’s a lunch box. Meanwhile, a town is plagued by polar bears roaming the streets.  I think it’s been well documented by now that I’ll watch damn near anything as long as it has a polar bear in it.  Add in a couple brown bears, a grizzly or two and you’ve got a guaranteed show stopper!

College football, 8 p.m., ABC - College football is back. I always watch for the first couple of weeks until I eventually burn out, switching over to NFL.  It happens every single year. Like clockwork.  LSU and North Carolina is a pretty good match-up.  Definitely worth a peak (and worth putting down $100 on LSU).

SERIES PREMIERE Mel B: It’s a Scary World, 9 p.m., Style - This show is gonna be fukkin awful.  I won’t try and paint it with any other brush than the shit brown one. But hey, aren’t you interested to see what the hell Scary Spice is doing with a TV show?  Worst case, it’s so shitty that it’s watchable for an episode or two.  Best case, well, that’s also the best case scenario I guess.

EVENTS

Labor Daze Boxing - Twin River Event Center R.I. - If you know anything about me, you know I love the Sweet Science. I’ll take any opportunity to watch a live event.  Boxing is a lot like Hockey in that you can’t truly appreciate it without watching it live.  It’s a completely different experience.  Get close enough and you might be lucky enough to get a splatter of blood on your shirt.

Machete - Rated R - Everywhere - This movie looks sick! People running around cutting people up with machetes?  God damn how could it not be motion picture of the year? And it ain’t no BS slasher movie either.  Robert DeNiro, Jessica Alba and my future wife Michelle Rodriguez are in this film.  Everything that lovely lady does is badass (in a damn sexy way). Check it.

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Bruce Willis fathered 6 children with Demi Moore;  Ashton, Blossom, Macaulay, D.D., Ben & Fred.

The Spy’s Take:  It’s just in the genes…

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WICHITA | A 42-year-old man and his pregnant, 20-year-old girlfriend were relaxing at a Sonic drive-through early this morning when they had an unexpected visitor.

His wife.

She confronted the couple about their relationship shortly before 1 a.m. at the Sonic at 2935 E. 21st St., police said. The girlfriend responded by pulling out a screwdriver and stabbing the 45-year-old wife eight times in the head, police said.

The victim was taken to Via Christi Hospital on St. Francis for treatment of the stab wounds, and the girlfriend was booked into the Sedgwick County Jail.

The victim’s injuries are not serious, police said.

Who gives a fuck about these two ladies beefing it out with a screwdriver. What about this guy? I want to hear more about him. He’s 42, dating someone half his age and wooing her with dinners at Sonic. How good is this guys game? Is he the most charming man in the world? Is he hung like an elephant? What’s this guys secret. I mean you just don’t have two chicks, with a 20 year age difference, fighting over who gets to fuck you in a Sonic parking lot at 1 am if you’re not doing at least something right.

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Well I think its safe to say this one has the US Open fight I posted earlier today beat by about a million. I mean I thought it was bad when old man river fell down one row until I saw this shit. Guys flying like 40 feet, upside down and shit. It was like the zero gravity fight from inception for a second there, people flying everywhere no one had their feet on the ground, guys throwing wild haymakers, just pure unadulterated chaos.

I guess this is what happens when Miami puts out a half way decent product. I mean you don’t want to die watching a 6-7 team play at the orange bowl, but a top 25 team? Well that’s worth getting your face smashed in and falling down half the stadium.

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I just hope to god this elephant was drunk because if he is eating shit on the reg sober then we have problems. Just no way he’s banging any chick elephants with poop breath. You could have all the game in the world but no ones touching your elephant dick if you got your friends shit in your tusks. That’s just a fact

PS

I think I caught that elephant smiling at the last second, right before he threw thats shit in his mouth. Must have been a dare, like one elephant said to the other i bet you wont eat my poo in front of all those tourists, and this guy was like “fuck you I won’t, I’ll dig in real deep and eat mad poop”.

Thanks to lampi for the tip

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I get it, its like when people shave their high school football number into the back of their heads, except this time its Team Oreo. This lady must be the starting QB, just double stuffing up and down the field.

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Oklahoma City, OK (The Weekly Vice) - Gina Hinkle, a 33-year-old Oklahoma woman was jailed Saturday after she stormed into a little girl’s birthday party, complained about not receiving and invitation and then urged her 9-year-old daughter to punch another girl in the face.

Oklahoma City Police say Hinkle was angry when she stormed into a home where a little girl’s birthday party was taking place and then began yelling at another girl who had been invited instead of her daughter.

Investigators say Hinkle was upset because the girl, who was friends with both the birthday girl and her daughter, decided to attend the party even thoughHinkle’s daughter was not.

When the victim’s parents told Hinkle to leave, Hinkle reportedly told her daughter to “stand up for yourself and do something.” That’s when Hinkle’sdaughter allegedly walked over to the birthday girl and punched her in the face.

The victim’s mother reportedly lunged at Hinkle, but was restrained by her husband.

The victim’s parents called police after Hinkle stormed out of the home.

The victims told detectives they have had an ongoing history of problems withHinkle, and even moved to a different home in an effort to get away from her.

Gina Hinkle needs to cool the fuck down. Seriously, there are times when little girls should be going around punching people in the face and there are times when they shouldnt, and this is clearly the latter. Because I don’t care how good of friends Gina Hinkle’s daughter is with this alleged “mutual friend” when there is birthday cake involved all bets are off. You don’t just pass on free birthday cake, even if the repercussions are a 9 year old’s fist in your eyeball. Free cake is worth going to the end of the world and back for. So like I said Gina Hinkle needs to calm down, it wasnt like this mutual friend was choosing 1 friend over the other. She was choosing cake over everything else, and when it comes to cake nothing is personal.

PS

I will give Gina Hinkle some credit on the punch demand though. That’s mom of the year type of shit right there. Just letting your daughter go and sucker punch the girl she hates. Who wouldn’t want Gina Hinkle as their mom. None of this PC use your words bullshit, in the Hinkle house we throw down even if its at a 9 year old girl’s birthday party.

PPS

This might just be Friday talking but does anyone else think Gina Hinkle is kind of cute? She’s got that psycho house mom don king look going that has the Big Cat intrigued.

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I Bet You Did

Thanks to meatman for the tip

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TMZ has obtained this photo of Tiger Woods … taken moments after the hearing in which his divorce from Elin Nordegren was finalized at  Bay County Circuit Court in Panama City, Florida last month.

Tiger — who didn’t say one word to Elin that day — smiled and posed for a photo with the bailiff from the hearing right after they left the courtroom

How about no, not at all. This does not look like the face of a guy who just lost 100 mil. If I was Elin I would be so pissed I didn’t get more coin out of this whole divorce because if this photo tells you one thing its that Tiger couldn’t wait to be single, like literally could not wait one more second to throw that wedding ring in the atlantic.

I mean look at the picture, Tiger couldn’t even wait to hit on a girl, he was macking on this dude so fast that the guy’s prison sheriff dick probably fell clean off.

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