Time For The Weekend…
This kid can fucking shred. Probably beating women off with a stick.
As always check back for some saturday weirdness and NFL fun on Sunday.
Next time you see me I’ll be in bright lights!
Have a Good Weekend….
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Anyone Hungry???
Hey, you guys want to order a couple of pizzas and watch that Bama - Arkansas game tomorrow?
Nah, I’m good, I’m just going to work on this can of Fish Assholes over here.
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This DJ Kitty Is Getting Me All Fired Up For This Weekend
Look at this DJ scratch. Just laying down some serious beats. Too bad he’s a Rays fan from Florida, which means he probably smokes meth and jerks off his little cat penis in Wal-Marts across the panhandle.
PS
As hot as this DJ is, thing still has nothing on Play It Away Cat.
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The Spy’s “Just to fake for this world” Friday Fact
Contrary to popular belief, Grizzly Adams did have a beard. Unfortunately, his beard was hiding a large thyroid tumor that ultimately resulted in his death at age 34.
The Spy’s Take: Picturing that huge guy from Billy Madison with the shirt, “Guns don’t kill people, I do.”
Week 3 NFL Picks
Before we get going on the picks this week I just wanted to point out a little fact. Last week the underdogs went 10-5. What the Fuck? That shit is not supposed to happen until week 13 or 14 not week 2. Week 2 is supposed to be fairly predictable. Thankfully I’m a master at not only never admitting my faults but also deflecting all blame on to others. So the lesson as always is, its not my fault that I sucked, its the NFL’s. Fuck you NFL.
I didn’t really mean that, I love you with all my heart NFL, I just talk crazy sometimes.
Picks…
Atlanta @ New Orleans -3.5 - Saints got lucky to escape with a W on Monday night and their defense looks vulnerable, but I just can’t bring myself to back Matt Ryan at the Superdome. I swear to god his line every week is the exact same 15-24, 205 yd, 1 td. No more matty ice, its matty “Anything over 8 yards is an incompletion”.
Buffalo @ New England -13.5 - The Pats played one of the worst second halves I have ever seen last week. If they duplicate that performance they will win by 3 touchdowns.
Pitt -2.5 @ Tampa Bay - Chaz Batch Alert. Chaz Batch Alert. I fucking love Chaz Batch. Something about him just screams NFL quarterback. Guy can throw lasers out there.
Sidenote- Did everyone know Ronde Barber was still in the league? That was a complete mindfuck. I guess I kind of assumed that he and Tiki retired together.
Sidenote 2 - Who wins in a smiling contest Hines Ward or Ronde? Those guys just love to play football.
Dallas @ Houston -3 - This has trap game written all over it but I don’t give a fuck. I watched the Cowboys play last week and they Stink. Jason Garret somehow went from the genius of offense to a 5 year old doodling with crayons in a matter of minutes. Must be all that time he’s been spending with Shit For Brains Phillips. Dumb is contagious people, be careful.
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ShareWell This Is Easily The Most Badass Gravestone Ever
Suck on that red coats, you can’t stop Samuel Whittemore. Guy is like Rambo 1, 2 and 3 combined.
This Divorce Lawyer Is The Definition Of A Straight Shooter
Steve Miller just slinging hot fire in your face. Is it bad that I want to get married right now just so I can get a divorce and pay this guy to get nasty. I’d go 12 rounds with Steve Miller in my corner any day of the week.
PS
I’m stealing that illiterate boob insult. Just start throwing it around town like its going out of style. Fucking illiterate boobs, theyre the worst.
PPS
I’m pretty sure I myself am the definition of an illiterate boob. Oh well.
Libyan Man Flashes British Women, Calls His Member “Lexie”
Abrahim Ghait, who was invited to Britain to celebrate Ramadan, exposed himself to a 28-year-old woman as she made her way home from the gym.
Three days later he repeated the offence in front of a 12-year-old girl – telling her his genetalia was named ”Lexie”.
Ghait pleaded guilty to two charges under the Sexual Offences Act of exposing his genitals with intention that someone would see them and cause alarm or distress.
Magistrates jailed him for six weeks on each charge, to serve side-by-side, and placed him on the Sex Offenders’ Register for seven years.
Richard Levene, prosecuting, told the court that he first struck at 7.54pm on August 13 when he exposed himself to a woman walking through the city’s Castle Park.
She saw Ghait standing behind a bin near a footbridge and as she walked towards him he stepped out, trousers down and exposing himself, despite children being nearby.
Three days later, on August 16, the pervy preacher performed a similar act in front of the 12-year-old in the same park.
Is this guy fucking serious with this lexie shit? Way to go dude, name your fucking dick after a girl. Talk about confusing. I mean seriously, the only reason this guy got arrested was because he was introducing his cock with a chick’s name. If he goes with something more traditional like Frank or Steve then its a totally different ball game. No lady wants to get a girly dick thrown in her face, that’s just disgusting.
PS
If I was this guy I would just say it was all lost in translation. If youre foreign to a country I’m pretty sure you can just walk around doing whatever the fuck you want, then when you get called out just pretend like you don’t understand. Hey, it worked for Sammy Sosa.
PPS
Say what you will about America but at least we tan our dicks before we go flashing them around town. Its called taking pride in your work.
SharePackers vs Bears Preview And Other Week 3 Thoughts
First…
Raise your hand if you thought Monday night’s Bears-Packers game was going to determine early first place position in the NFC North? No Lovie, your vote does not count. Few, if any, outside of Halas Hall predicted this game would feature two 2-0 teams. The Packers were expected to be here and have shown early on why many listed them as Super Bowl contenders before the season started. Aaron Rodgers is off to a solid start and it’s only a matter a time before the Green Bay offense really kicks it into high-gear. The defense, led by stringy-haired man-child Clay Matthews, is one of the most talented units in the league. Despite the loss of running back Ryan Grant, the team appears to be right on schedule and all is good in the Land of Cheeseheads.
The Bears, on the other hand, are amongst the NFL’s biggest surprises. I’m sure Green Bay thought they would have competition for the division crown. There’s no doubt, however, that they believed this team would be the challengers, not the Monsters of the Midway. Chicago has answered the critics and can vault themselves from pretenders to contenders with a prime-time win on Monday Night Football. Here are some of my keys to the game followed by other random NFL thoughts.
…And 10
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peek-a-boo