Crestview, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - Emily Sue Van Ausdal, a 37-year-old Crestview woman was jailed Thursday after she was allegedly found so intoxicated that she urinated on herself while her 6-year-old son drilled holes with a cordless drill.

According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office, deputies were called to the woman’s home back in late August on reports that she was too intoxicated to care for her son.

When officers arrived, they found Van Ausdal visible intoxicated with slurred speech and poor coordination. While officers attempted to interview her, she reportedly fell asleep during the exchange and eventually urinated on herself.

Investigators say Van Ausdal also drank wine in front of police and was barely able to stand without falling. Her son brought her a blanket and pillow from his room, and tried to feed her raw cookie dough. She was so intoxicated that she allowed him to play with a cordless drill, drilling holes into a board.

Van Ausdal was taken to North Okaloosa Medical Center for detoxification, then booked into jail and charged with child neglect without great harm. She is due in court October 19th.

So Emily Sue Van Asdal threw back a few tall boys and now we’re all up in arms? Give me a break. So what if she pissed her pants. When you got to go to, you got to go. And if that time strikes when you happen to have pants on, well then tough shit for your pants.

Yeah and I get that she probably could have picked a better time to piss her pants than right in front of the cops, but what are you going to do. Sue probably has a prostate problem and couldn’t get to her flomax in time. That’s why she was drinking the wine too, a couple of glasses a day is good for the heart and who is Sue to ignore the Doctor’s orders. Cops can’t arrest her for that.

PS

I love the son’s hustle. Just because Mom is passed out drunk again, pissing her pants, doesn’t mean the day stops. Theres work to be done, those random holes in the wall aren’t going to drill themselves.

PPS

If one of my 10 future sons ever starts feeding me raw cookie dough on the reg, that one is my favorite no questions asked. I won’t even pay attention to the other 9, i’ll just get my cookie dough dispenser a leash and never let him leave my side.