Deland, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - Larry Franklin, a 16-year-old DeLand High School student was jailed after he allegedly held up a convenience store, armed with a bottle of salad dressing.

According to DeLand police, Franklin robbed the DeLand Citro convenience store on South Woodland Boulevard on Friday, armed with a bottle of salad dressing. The suspect reportedly got away with about $468 in cash, which he used to buy jewelry and drugs.

Investigators say two-and-a-half hours later, he entered the Friendly Way convenience store, picked up a bottle of dressing from the shelf, walked behind the counter, and pointed a bottle of dressing at the clerk.

When the clerk pulled out a gun, the teen decided the jig was up and agreed to leave the store. He was arrested a short time later in front of the store.

You laugh at this guy but you never know how serious he was willing to get with that salad dressing. Like what if he was willing to squirt it in the clerk’s eye? You get a vinegar based dressing in the eye and its lights out. Takes you at least 5 minutes to bounce back from something like that.

Or what if he was just going to spray it all over the clerk and ruin his best clerking uniform? Have you ever accidetally spilled a little creamy italian on a piece of your clothing? Shit is no joke. Might as well just give up and throw the shirt out.

So yeah go ahead and make fun of Larry Franklin for holding up a store with salad dressing, but just remember its all fun and games until you are staring down the barrel of a reduced fat parmesan peppercorn.

PS

Obviously Larry Franklin never heard the saying don’t bring a dressing bottle to a gun fight. Way to stay up on your anecedotal proverbs bro.