Manatee, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - Raymond Stanley Roberts, a 25-year-old Manatee man was jailed Wednesday after he was allegedly found with cocaine in his anus that he claimed was “not his”.

When officers approached the vehicle, they smelled a strong odor of what was believed to be marijuana. When they asked Robert if he had been smoking, he stated that he had smoked the night before, but not recently. He also claimed to have no marijuana in his possession, even granting police access to search his car.

Investigators say when officers searched Roberts, they felt a soft object in the area of Robert’s buttocks. Roberts demanded that he be allowed to retrieve the item himself, and pulled a 4.5 gram bag of marijuana out of his anus. When deputies asked if he had anything else, he stated that he didn’t.

An officer continued his search, and then felt another soft object through Robert’s shorts. The officer used the suspect’s shorts to pull another bag out of his anus, containing 27 pieces or “rocks” of cocaine, a total weight of 3.5 grams.

Roberts then claimed that “the white stuff” was not his, but that it belonged to a friend that exited the vehicle shortly before he was pulled over. He went on to explain that his friend left the cocaine “behind” and that he he panicked and placed it in his anus to avoid arrest.

Roberts was booked into the Manatee County Jail and charged with possession of rock cocaine and possession of marijuana. He was released after posting $1,120 bond.

I know this sounds kind of weird but I kind of believe Raymond Stanley Roberts. Its sort of like when you go to the beach and you end up with sand in your belly button. That’s not your sand. That’s the beaches sand, it just accidentally ended up in one of your orifices. Same thing happened here, Ray was hanging out with some undesirables and ended up with 8 grams of weed and coke up his butt. Those things kind of just happen. Hang out with the wrong crew and youre bound to end up with crack rocks in your butthole. I think the police of all people should realize that.

PS

Since when did we start getting news stories with vivid description of anus searches? TMI police report, tmi.