(NEWSER) – An ATM at a posh Florida mall cuts out the paper and goes straight for gold. Slide in credit card or cash and get out a pile of gold bars and coins in a tidy black box, the APreports. The German machine is primarily a novelty item, says its inventor, but could also be handy for investors who don’t want to deal with ordering gold over the internet or at pawn shops. There’s also one at the Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi.

I need this ATM so bad it fucking hurts. So what if I wouldnt be able to withdraw money without overdrafting out of my asshole. That’s not the point. The point is, when you’re an award winning writer and world renowned art collector anything less than a gold dispensing ATM just won’t do.

PS

Thank god they didn’t try to steal my idea of a caviar vending machine.

PPS

Smart planning putting this bad boy in Florida. How quickly before a meth head tries to rob this thing? Or has that already happened?

Thanks to DP for the tip