(Source) Apparently public intoxication is a reason for police to intervene with animals as well as humans. German police recently found a drunk owl out in public and took in the animal, saying it would be released once it has sobered up.

A spokesman for the Pforzheim police reported to Spiegel Online that “a woman walking her dog alerted the police after seeing the bird sitting by the side of the road oblivious to passing traffic.” When police found the brown owl, it was staggering around with drooping eyelids. As further evidence of the owl’s drunkenness, two small bottles of Schnapps were found near the bird.

The police took the owl to a local expert who has treated “alcoholized birds” in the past. This bird is being given plenty of water, and will be free to go when sober.

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Did anyone else think that this owl is probably pretty stressed out and is just trying to take the edge off? Think about it, every other day there is some news story about a thousand birds falling out of the sky, or a million fish committing suicide. So if you’re an owl, and you know the world is coming to an end, wouldn’t you grab a couple of bottles of schnapps and get shitfaced? Kind of makes sense right? Like when we get close to January 1, 2012 I’ll be blacked out 24/7. That’s how it works. You either fuck or get drunk when you’re staring death in the face. You know it, I know it, and this owl sure as hell knows it.

PS

The entire paragraph gets thrown out the window if the owl was drinking those fruity flavored schnapps. Then he’s just a lightweight pussy.

h/t strong legz