Here’s a lay up to submit a best caption comment. I know there’s a lot of HUGE Colt’s fans on this blog…..

Congrats to Shamalama his Teddy Pendergrass comment stuck it out and won today!

What the fuck is up with this shit?

Look, I think I’m pretty hip with the times… but I’m not gonna lie, I don’t get what all the rage is with “crazy” piercings, spikes, and ear stretchers and I don’t think I’m alone. Can you tell me one thing that’s cool about opening up a hole in your lip for a snake to crawl through or putting inflatable devil horns under your scalp??? Seriously, I’m open to all explanations.

Congrats to El Capiflan for today’s best comment- you’re in the running for the weekly contest. Yea, I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for Home Alone.

So, I’m not going to lie, I think all of you readers out there are WAY too quiet and honestly not bringing enough to the table. What’s up with this 0 comments per post nonsense?!? Honestly.

Here’s the deal- I’m creating a contest: basically, all you have to do is write witty comments. We’ll pick the best comment from each post during the day and announce it each night. THEN, over the weekend the winners get put into a randomizer and BAM! we’ve got ourselves a weekly champion. All you have to do is be clever… It doesn’t even have to relate to the post.

Prizes are TBD but they won’t be less than a hotglove.com t-shirt.

WOW! THIS VIDEO HAS EVERYTHING! Song, dance, jaw-dropping action, heartfelt romance, mind blowing special effects, clever and smooth editing… I could praise this film FOREVER. This reallly put’s the B in Bollywood. When they touch down and sprint into the dance montage at 0:59, they make smangin, the bernie, the wheelchair sho’ty…, look like amateur moves! Not just one, but 3 separate classique moves! The knee swing hop back, the chummy elbow into elbow spin, and finally the sultan’s pride! THEN the duo really gives it to those riff-raff hokies with a couple masterful fightin’ moves  (did you notice they sent the wrong character flying upwards?) I live for I’m not gonna lie, this is the finest 5+ minutes of film.

Yea, this video may have initially been posted in 2006 but you know the rule!

So, from now on, Friday’s are gonna be my rant days… I”m just gonna let loose on whatever the fuck I feel like letting loose on. Really shake off those workweek cobwebs and get my mind right for the weekend. Today’s target- winter joggers.

I’m not gonna lie, I’m not much of a jogger, I get it though- good exercise, scenery, etc… I’m cool with slowly running on beautiful days, you might even catch me doing so myself. BUT once the winter hits, put those fucking shoes away and find another way to get your fix. It’s not cool and your not proving a damn thing to me, Jim Fitness, or yourself.

Look at these fucking clucks. They have like $200 worth of gear on just to look like a couple clowns bopping around town just to freeze their asses off… I hope the trolley behind them slid out of control and wiped em out. Fleece hat- check, balaclava- check, gaiter- check, thermal underlayer- check, breathable mid-layer- check, windproof membrane, check,wool/acrylic blend $20 socks- check, trail running shoes- check… Go to hell. By the time you get all that shit on you could have logged a couple kilometers on the rowmaster. It’s like getting ready to go skiing without going fast or having fun. Once you finally get all that shit on you gotta run. Don’t give me any of that runner’s high nonsense or talk about natural endorphines- I completely agree… that’s why Benjamin F. Tread invented the treadmill. If that’s not enough, once you get back home, you gotta peel every single item off individually. I think this may be the worst part of it all… prying wet, tight polyester off your skin. Clean it up!

Happy weekend. Love, G

I fucked up bad! Real bad!! I need to 1. Learn how to pick locks and 2. Carry my lockpicking set everywhere I go just in case I find myself in the sensational predicament that I’m in right now.

I’m in a bowling league in Boston and tonight we’re holding practice for our first game this Sunday. I can’t tell you where I am in case you decide to move in before I do… Anyhow these are on display behind me and I want them NOW!!!!

I’ve got a gift swap on Friday at my buddy Gu’s place and I’m struggling to think of a good gift.I seem to have this same fucking problem every year- there’s no way I can go with something lame like a Snuggie or a bottle of wine. That’s just ridiculous. My finest move was back in 2008 at this firm I was working for’s party- I put these 2 shitty knock-off nerf guns in a bag from one of Boston’s finest women’s boutiques. Some girl picked it as the first gift and was totally bamboozled. Better luck in 2009 honey!

Anyhow, here’s what I was thinking for this year (keep in mind, it’s a $25 max), let me know what you think or if you have any better ideas. Also, feel free to take one for your holiday party).

1. $25 worth of classique goodwill clothing. I’m talking like 25 hilarious $1 t-shirts or, 2 $12 suits (plus a $1 accessory- monocle?), essentially a make-over in a box.
2. A remote control flying helicopter- I don’t think there could be enough of these in the world yet NO ONE ever pulls the trigger on buying them.
3. A couple $10 air-horns and some ear plugs for the user (and yourself)- jesus christ, knowing my friends this would get OUT OF CONTROL.
4. A wheel of really nice but super-stank cheese (Rizzo).
5. An impromptu slip-n-slide kit- a long tarp, a bottle of laundry detergent, and a case of bottled water.

Whatcha think/whatcha got?

So, I was sitting at my compter this morning anxiously reloading the ticketmaster webpage trying to get Rose Bowl Tickets (a brief aside- I need to publicly recognize the Big Cat for pulling one of the freshest moves in ticket acquisition history. Thanks to him, we’re gonna be lookin real good in that stadium) when I saw an ad for this:

Sickening...

At that point, I thought tickets had sold out and shit couldn’t get any worse…. then they did. I don’t think I need to explain any further. Luckily my old friend dropped the hot news that he scored some tickets or I may have killed myself. Close call.

Ooooooohhhhh it feels good to be back. Prob gonna be posting 3-4 times a week, but don’t be surprised if you happen to see more action from this corner. So, take your shoes and socks off and cozy up to a late night fireside chat with your old friend G.

The holiday season is amongst us! That means like 3 things:

1. Decreased productivity at work,
2. Increased 9-5 time on TheHotGlove,
3. Both Home Alone’s on ABC Family.

Which leads me to a personal dilemma: Which is the better Home Alone moment?

• Marv’s Spider Scream from the original 1990 film, OR
• Marv’s Electrocution Scene from the 1992 hit follow-up??

It’s like picking between a finely aged Sherry and a Bourbon gently blessed with hints of caramel and vanilla. Just don’t know which way to go….

Well hey yo, it’s your old friend G, back from the dead to write a business idea Friday. It’s good to see you too.

OK, so I’m not going to lie- I hate when a dog acts like a bitch. I don’t know anyone who does. If you have a dog (when I say dog, I mean anything over 40 lbs… shih tzu’s and chihuahua’s don’t count), you gotta make sure it can get your back if shit goes down and that it’s not gonna bitch out when some other dog comes and steals it’s coat. Frankly you can’t put a price on that.

Enter Badass Dog Boot Camp into the business market. For a low price you can drop your dog off with me in the wilderness and I can turn it into a cat killing, Cujo wannabe. Think along the lines of the movie Predator except way more intense. At the crack of dawn, your dog and I strap up for a tandem parachute into the jungle with no food or water. Upon landing, I’ll run your dog through a number of obstacles: a pit of coals and hot snakes until we reach the tiger pit. After defeating the tiger, your dog will face off against Bryan Beer (the world’s greatest GUTS athlete) in a race to the summit of my replica aggro-crag. If your dog can complete all these challenges, it’ll be rewarded with a golden tusk.

That’s Greta, my girlfriend’s dog and my first client. She recently jumped off a 5 foot high dock into syringe laden water after biting the head off a cobra.