Thursday Night Football Texans @ Eagles

You’re probably asking yourself right now “who the fuck is that nerd?” Well friends, thats Rusty Smith, NFL quarterback for the Tennessee Titans. And why does Rusty Smith matter when we’re talking about a game between the Texans and the Eagles? Because the Texans shut out Rusty Smith last week and all of a sudden everyone thinks they can play football. And in the words of The Wolf from Pulp Fiction, Lets not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.

Texans @ Eagles -8

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If A Soccer Tournament Happens In Qatar Does Anyone Notice?

ZURICH — The tiny desert nation of Qatar beat out the United States as the 2022 World Cup host, with FIFA brushing aside doubts about blistering heat to bring soccer’s showcase event for the first time to the Middle East.

Heartbreaking doesnt even begin to explain how heartbreaking this is. Its the World Cup bro, and we lost to fucking Qatar.

PS

Do people not realize that 2022 is like a thousand years away? If we’re not having world cup ties on the moon by 2022  then we’ve done something very wrong.

2 comments - Latest by:

  • It’s the World Cup, Bro… of being a fucking pussy.. Man up, Son!!!


    - Shamalama Ding Dong
  • That guy is such a pussy


    - Anonymous

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Yawn, Just Another Big Ten Victory In The Big Ten/Acc Challenge

(Fanhouse) The 2010 ACC-Big Ten Challenge kicked off Monday night with Virginia’s win against Minnesota, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. The Challenge continued Tuesday and concluded Wednesday night.

After 10 consecutive losses, many of them humiliating, the Big Ten has now won two straight Challenges, finishing with six wins to the ACC’s five.

I don’t even know why I’m posting about this because its clearly not news. Another year, another dominating performance by the Big Ten over the ACC. Just hamboning all over those pussies from the Atlantic Coast. Honestly, I dont even remember the last time the ACC even won this thing. Why keep playing it when you already know the result?

Oh well, if UNC and Duke want to get their dick stomped in every year, who am I to deny them that?

3 comments - Latest by:

  • someone needs to tell this EA character to calm down, take it easy pal


    - Big Daddy from Chi-City
  • You’re clearly an ACC idiot. Sarcasm applied pretty thick. Good to see the turnaround the last two years for the B10. No ACC team will ever beat a Bo Ryan team at the Kohl Center.


    - EA
  • Second win EVER, big ten sucks


    - Anonymous

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Do You Think D-Rose Is Going To Dunk In Dwight Howard’s Perma Smile Tonight?

Chances are strong to quite strong.

Magic @ Bulls -1.5

That’s free money right there.

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Derek Anderson Does Not Think Anything Is Funny

Fucking Derek Anderson man, guy just puts his heart and soul into losing and then some asshole reporter has to get up in his face about laughing? Come on bro, Derek Anderson studies his ass off all week. The proof is in the pudding. You don’t lose 27-6 to a 3-7 team by accident, that shit takes hard work.

Not to mention I saw his one interception, it was definitely God’s fault.

PS

I will say that Derek Anderson missed a golden opportunity here. There’s only one acceptable way to go with that question…

3 comments - Latest by:

  • Somebody please tell me how this loser is still in the NFL???


    - Kitty Wu
  • It is a great scene, but Casino > Goodfellas


    - Schwa
  • Best movie scene ever


    - Davey

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The Worst Monday Night Football Game Ever 49ers @ Cardinals

Sorry pal but I’m pretty sure those are the same old cardinals. Nothing like two 3-7 NFC West teams matching up on Monday night to separate the fans from the degenerates.

Yes, I’ll probably end up watching every single play…fuck.

49ers -2 @ Cardinals

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Steve Johnson Is Pissed At God For Not Helping Him Catch That Pass

I feel you Steve, whenever I fuck up at work I say the same thing. Oh the formula in that excel sheet isn’t right? Sorry, God must have missed that one,  idiot is always messing shit up.

PS

I hope for Steve Johnson’s sake God read the “thx tho”. That would really suck if he skimmed over that part.

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A Cut Above The Rest - Bears 31, Eagles 26

Holy fuck, the Bears are 8-3.  Following Sunday’s impressive 31-26 win over Philadelphia, Chicago has the second best record in the NFC and a 1.5 game lead in the division with five games to go.  I saw this team winning 5 games all season (as one of our commenter’s was so kind to point out) but now find myself seriously questioning how far they can go.  Is this a Super Bowl team?  I’m not sold yet but there’s a really chance they will host a playoff game.  And here’s the best part: they’re getting better. Chicago is 4-0 since the bye and yesterday’s win was one of the biggest by a Bears team in years.

Overall, it was a great performance.  Everyone contributed and that had to be the case because the Eagles are a really good football team.  Before we look at specifics, let’s consider the big picture after Sunday.  The Bears earned a tie-breaker against one of the teams they will be competing with for a first-round bye.  The win, coupled with Green Bay’s loss, also gives Chicago a virtual 1.5 game lead in the NFC North.  With five tough games on the schedule, it was critical to stay ahead of the pack in the NFC and the Bears were able to do that on Sunday.  Here’s how:

  • Jay Cutler has never played a game like that in a Chicago uniform.  14 for 21, 247 yards and four touchdowns.  Franchise quarterback game.  For the fourth straight game (coincidence?), he made the right decisions.  And for the first time in his Bears tenure, the offense is being tailored to his strengths.  Kudos to Mike Martz on that point.  He opened the season with his crazy seven-step-drop scheme that nearly killed Jay but has adjusted to a more conservative gameplan, running the ball and using short, timing routes to move the ball down field.  And Jay is absolutely delivering.
  • The defensive line won the battle against Michael Vick in convincing fashion.  Julius Peppers, Israel Idonije and Henry Melton all had big games.  Anthony Adams was a terror on the inside.  And don’t look now but #91 Tommie Harris is starting to make some plays.  Harris is on the field about 25% of the snaps on defense at this point and that strategy might actually be working.  He’s strung a few good efforts together and his tipped ball that led to an interception late in the first half was the single most important play of the game.  Rod Marinelli and Lovie Smith have to like what they’ve seen from this group - especially with the contributions from unlikely guys.
  • Earl Bennett has three touchdowns in the last four games and, whenever Cutler needs a big conversion on third down or in the red zone, he looks in Bennett’s direction.

Continue reading “A Cut Above The Rest - Bears 31, Eagles 26” »

2 comments - Latest by:

  • Good point Ding Dong, I can’t stand those two. More than anything, I hate how Buck announces calls in such a boring, rhythmic pattern: “Cutler, Hester, first down”.


    - WAM
  • When calling a Cowboy game, do you notice how Joe Buck can’t suck enough Dallas Dick when they do something right?.. Even if it’s just a 5yrd dump-out: “..and the Cowboys just lit it up with an EXPLOSIVE surge for five yards by Dez Bryant..” “It was almost as if Miles Autin read Kitna’s mind on that 7yrd in-route, Troy..” Then there’s Aikman.. I like his disdain for Jerry Jones and the Cowboys and the way he subtly rips into them: “Just like they did last week, the offense looks stagnant and immobile..” “I don’t wanna say they’re giving up, Joe, but you have to question the determination of this football team..”


    - Shamalama Ding Dong

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Andre Johnson Says Good Morning!

Now that’s how you throw down! You want to make fun of the Houston Texans? Well how about a few haymakers to the back of your dome piece. Nice work Andre, way to protect the legacy and tradition of Houston Texan football.

How big was Roger Goodell’s boner after this one? You know the guy gets off by suspending people. It’s like that movie Eyes Wide Shut, but instead of a bunch of masked naked people he’s getting his rocks off thinking about suspensions and failed drug tests.

PS

Whats up with Cortland Finnegans hair? Nice blowout bro.

1 comment - Latest by:

  • Cortland Finnegan has started about a million fights, definition of a punk


    - Anonymous

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The Hot Glove’s Weekly NFL Picks

Quick Picks today so everyone can keep track of my money making record.

PS

If I just don’t show up to work tomorrow how many days before I get fired?

Jax @ NY Giants -7

Tennessee +6.5 @ Houston

Green Bay @ Atlanta -2

Minnesota @ Washington -1

Carolina @ Cleveland -9.5

Pittsburgh @ Buffalo +6.5

Kansas City @ Seattle +2

Miami @ Oakland -3

St Louis +4 @ Denver

Philadelphia @ Chicag0 +3.5

Tampa Bay +7.5 @ Baltimore

San Diego @ Indianapolis -3

This week - 2-1

Season - 73-85-7

Total of the Day Carolina @ Cleveland Under 37.5

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