1- “Hey man, do you want to go down by the apple tree and have a picnic?”

2-”Will there be dudes there?”

1-”Tons of dudes”

2-”Should I bring my mandolin?”

1-”Definitely, and your handgun, don’t forget your handgun”

Dude’s name is Reckless, I don’t think people get that. Like you want to get reckless? Well reckless gets reckless all day everyday. Shit like jumping head first into signs while running 1 mph.

Fucking reckless, what can’t that guy do.

Football is almost over, my website is painstakingly slow, its the middle of January in Chicago but at least I’m not getting a tire thrown off my face so that I can say I got a few thousand hits on a youtube video.

So all things considered I’m doing just fine.

(Source) Indian police say the “dangerous rooster” is thought to have killed Singrai Soren after being forced back into the ring soon after his last fight.

The animal had emerged victorious, but witnesses said the victim died after the feathered fiend cut his throat with razor blades attached to its legs as he tried to immediately force it into another bout.

Villagers were warned not to approach the animal cops described as “an unknown rooster with black and red feathers”.

Police want to find the bird to strip it of the deadly blades he killed with, but said with so many roosters matching his description the chances of catching him were slim.

A friend of the victim, named only as Dasai, said: “The rooster tried to get away from the ring several times but Soren tried to push him into the ring repeatedly.

“This upset him and he attacked.

You know how everyone always debates what the worst way to die is. Some think it would suck to drown, others are scared of being buried alive. Well fuck all that noise. There is only one terrible way for a person to die and that’s to have your neck slit up open by your own Cock. Doesn’t get any more embarrassing than that.

PS

The only redeeming part of this most recent season of Eastbound and Down was Aaron the cockfighting midget. That guy was boss.

God Damnit. What can you even say to that? That baby just kicked America’s ass without even breaking a sweat. Fuck.

Hey Idiot, a layup counts as two. Doesnt really count as a dunk if you need 6 people to carry you to the rim. You bring that  shit in my house and I’ll break your little turtle nose. I’m talking flagrant 2 right in your stupid turtle face.

No way I ever get dunked on by a turtle, no way.

See this is what I love about America. Like do you honestly believe all this bullshit about China being the next superpower? Or Iran getting nuclear weapons? Get serious. As long as we have people making Sarah Palin Battle hymns there is no way in hell America will cease being the baddest motherfucker on the block. Go ahead and cripple our economy, call us fat and ignorant, we’ll just make a song about a political lunatic that will blow your dick off.

PS

Someone’s getting an emmy for stage design.

Of all The Hottest New Dance Moves on The Hot Glove, Like Berney is easily the hottest. And of all the people doing the Berney in the world this kid is easily the best. Its like a black hole of “like Berney”. Just a perfect storm of Berney caught on tape. Berney how it was meant to be bernied. Berney in its purest form.

PS

If I ever become mature enough to have a child of my own (highly highly doubtful) he will be berneying before he walks. And that’s not a wish, thats a fact.

Poor Cavs fan. He’s like the friend that gets made fun of day after day, taking everyone’s shit, getting his balls busted all the time until one random day someone says the wrong thing and he snaps and totally overreacts at a seemingly little joke.  Then everyone realizes its not that much fun to bust his balls anymore because secretly he’s a psychopath. Everyone knows a guy like that. And that’s this Cavs fan, only difference is that he snapped on a mascot surrounded by 15,000 strangers.

PS

I thought this was fake  until that Bear absolutely trucked the Cavs fan. That hit was as real as it gets.

…

Triple Nutshot