Would you rather work on MLK day or not work on MLK day?

Real tough one today. Yeah not working is kind of cool, sitting on the couch, doing shit you like to do, sleeping in. But when you really think about it that stuff is kind of over-rated. Isn’t putting numbers into an excel sheet and answering phone calls all day about a thousand times more fun? I say yes. In fact if I could just forego any weekends for the rest of my life that’s probably what I would do, work is that fucking awesome.

Pick - Working on MLK day when the rest of the world has it off.

Would you rather spend a year repeating the 3rd grade (at your current age) or spend a month in jail for a crime you didn’t commit.

I know the instant thought here. That spending a year with a bunch of 8 year olds, dominating them in sports, and being the big man on the elementary school campus is far far better than jail and the possibility of your manhood being taken from you many many times. Well fuck that. Its one month. Show up, do something completely insane and spend the entire month in the hole. If andy dufresne can deal with it you can too. I honestly think I would kill myself if I had to be with 25 eight year olds for an entire year. Little kids freak me out. They’re like miniature people but really stupid and gross . I can’t handle that.

Pick - 1 month in jail

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Would you rather drive an 86 honda civic wagon but get the best parking spot every time or get a new Lambo every year and park like a normal person.

Yeah driving a lambo would be pretty badass but think about this for a second, Handicap parking without actually being Handicapped. Thats fucking gold. Who gives a fuck about Lambos, just pimp the civic out with one of those twizzler dispensers Garth rocks in Waynes World. Instant equalizer. Lambos may go fast but they dont have bottomless red rope.

Pick - Civic with magical parking.

For the rest of your life Would You Rather piss your pants once a month or shit your pants twice a year?

The good old classic debate of quantity vs quality. Pissing your pants once a month would no doubt suck, and I’m sure everyone would give you a hard time but pooping your pants is sort of a dealbreaker. Like if that happens just once in the wrong crowd you’ve cemented your legacy for life. Not to mention shitting your pants isn’t exactly the easiest thing to disguise. Kind of tough to be inconspicuous about a puddle of diarrhea in your hanes. Whereas with piss you can just pretend you spilled on yourself, bingo bango, problem solved. Don’t even need to wash your jeans.

Pick - Pissing your pants once a month.

Would You Rather Have An Insanely High Pitched Voice Or Only Be Able To Speak In Broken English?

Tough call. It would be one thing if you could speak broken english but also could speak another foreign language. Then its cool as much as speaking something other than American can be cool, which is not very cool. But to be able to speak broken english as your only form of communication? No Thanks. So give me that small ball, high pitched voice bullshit all day everyday. People may laugh but at least they would understand what I’m saying.

Pick - High Pitched voice

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Would You Rather have male pattern baldness at the age of 20 or have a full head of hair for the rest of your life but only be allowed to have a bowl haircut?

Tough call, pretty sure girl’s hate bald guys unless they’re rich as fuck, but what’s their take on bowl cuts? Like I bet 99% of females will find you gross with a bowl but there’s probably a couple of weird chicks out there that get horny as fuck for those perfectly aligned bangs. You know the type of girls that ironically listen to coldplay and drink spiced mochas. I guess if you can find one of those chicks then the bowl haircut is the way to go.

Pick - Bowl Haircut