I guess I should have expected this when I clicked on a video that said Dog thinks he’s elephant, but I’m not going to lie I was kind of taken off guard, this dog really does think he’s an elephant.

What does this dog think he’s too good for us? That he doesn’t need to walk? Fucking dog, just grinding that back like it ain’t no thing. Grow up bro, and maybe get a job while you’re at it.

Might have to go home early. Theres just no recovering from something like this.

Relaxing, watching tv, no one bothering you or trying to put you in a trash can. Just doesn’t get any better than being a dog. This dog even gets control of the remote. And you know when it goes to commercial he just takes a break and licks his balls. Dogs man, what can’t they do?

PS

How high is this cameraman? I know that laugh at :45 seconds. That was a “I’ve been ripping tubes all day and filming my dog watching tv” laugh. Unmistakable.

Holy Fuck, my computer screen just almost exploded from cute shit overload. Like if I had one wish it would be to jump into that youtube video and just chill with the dog and turtle and munch cheerios all day long. It would basically be the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life, no exaggeration.

PS
Are those multi-grain cheerios? Good move Dog/Turtle,  multi-grain cheerios are the tits.

God I need a dog and a lawn so bad it hurts. I would just let my dog do cool shit like this 24/7. Someone please buy me 100 acres of land. I’ll take care of the dog.

Well hey yo, it’s your old friend G, back from the dead to write a business idea Friday. It’s good to see you too.

OK, so I’m not going to lie- I hate when a dog acts like a bitch. I don’t know anyone who does. If you have a dog (when I say dog, I mean anything over 40 lbs… shih tzu’s and chihuahua’s don’t count), you gotta make sure it can get your back if shit goes down and that it’s not gonna bitch out when some other dog comes and steals it’s coat. Frankly you can’t put a price on that.

Enter Badass Dog Boot Camp into the business market. For a low price you can drop your dog off with me in the wilderness and I can turn it into a cat killing, Cujo wannabe. Think along the lines of the movie Predator except way more intense. At the crack of dawn, your dog and I strap up for a tandem parachute into the jungle with no food or water. Upon landing, I’ll run your dog through a number of obstacles: a pit of coals and hot snakes until we reach the tiger pit. After defeating the tiger, your dog will face off against Bryan Beer (the world’s greatest GUTS athlete) in a race to the summit of my replica aggro-crag. If your dog can complete all these challenges, it’ll be rewarded with a golden tusk.

That’s Greta, my girlfriend’s dog and my first client. She recently jumped off a 5 foot high dock into syringe laden water after biting the head off a cobra.

I feel you dog, this is exactly what I do every monday morning. Just hoping that if I stay on the floor long enough I wont have to work.

I also pull this move whenever my boss asks me to do something. I just look at him blankly and start rolling around on the ground until he walks away and leaves me alone. Works everytime.

Wait this is what a porcupine looks like? Gross. I thought porcupines were all cute and shit but this thing just looks stupid. I mean his face is all weird and his needles are way too long. Haircut and some gel goes a long way dude, people don’t like that bed head look anymore, haven’t you seen all those axe commercials?

Not to mention he’s all needy and desperate for attention. Hey porcupine, if you want me to think your cute your going to have to play hard to get. I don’t just blog about any old animal and say its cute. You gotta earn that shit.

I’m officially off porcupines.