vs.

I posted the first one a couple of weeks ago and now we have this guy smashing his elbow on a bunch of cinder blocks. So the question is, who is more pathetic? Guy 1 because its a broom handle that I could break in my sleep or Guy 2 because you can see the desperation/embarrassment on his face. Like he is literally dying up in front of that crowd.

I think I have to go 2. Everyone knows the old saying, tie goes to the cornrows.

PS

Its also pretty embarrassing when you’re wearing full body armor and you still can’t break a block. This guy looks like Barry Bonds with all that shit on his arms. Time to pick a new hobby because brick breaking just ain’t your bag.

What the fuck cat? Its Halloween for christ sakes, the greatest holiday ever created. Suck it up and act like you give a shit. Because this whole mopey, pretending to pass out act is getting old real fast.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Usually rope swing videos are some moron who is afraid to let go, not a person who lets go too early. Just weird all around. Like the easiest part of rope swinging is to just hold on until there is water under you. Most people fuck up because they get scared, not because they can’t tell the difference between land and water.

Oh well, guess it doesn’t matter in the long run because rope swing videos are great. Just the perfect combination of terrible injuries and humor.

I’m not saying I could do this because it looks hard as shit. But you give me a bic and a can of lysol and I’ll make some fireballs that will blow your mind, guaranteed. I have like 15 years of experience with fireballs. I’m basically a trained professional stuntman when it comes to the aerosol can/bic lighter combo.

So what if I can’t create fireballs out of my mouth, at least I wouldn’t blow my tits off like this lady did.

PS

How about that fire extinguisher guy. Way to be on point dude. You have 1 fucking job, keep your hand on the trigger and wait until someone is on fire. It was like a solid 10 seconds before you reacted. Newsflash dude, homegirl is on fire and you have the solution right in your fucking hands.

What’s the ice sculptor’s problem. Yeah so david fucked up a little and broke your little project but what the fuck dude, it was going to melt anyway. Grow up and go carve a figurine or some shit, no need to act like a baby and shut the whole thing down.

PS

How about the woman reporter at the end, just totally throwing David under the bus. If I was him I would be livid about that little sarcastic comment, I’d probably walk around the fair smashing every sculpture in sight. You want to say I have delicate touch, I’ll show you delicate touch.

Why did you turn? Why did you fucking turn?

Something about that guy yelling at his poor girlfriend just made me laugh. Like hey meathead it wasnt her fault your stupid tricked out honda couldnt get up those two pieces of plywood. Settle down.

Then again, that is the exact reaction I would have. Find the closest person to the accident and blame them, works everytime.

PS

Who loads a car into a uhaul? Pretty sure the car can drive itself, thats what makes it a car.

It’s cool you won’t need those pictures anyway. Either way its the grooms fault, all he needed to do was give a little heads up to the cameraman, I mean clearly the guy is working with some subpar proprioception.

But no, the groom has to be looking at his new wife like a little bitch. Hey dude, you get to look at that shit for life, why don’t you take a little breather and help out my man who’s working like a billion cameras for your ass. Some people are so rude.

PS

Didn’t think the Big Cat had proprioception in his vocabulary did you? Looks like the 3 women that read The Hot Glove just got their gennies torched by the Big Cat’s intelligence. Ladies, your welcome.

PPS

I literally learned that word yesterday. Some guy was like hey man you have shitty proprioception and I was like what the fuck is that? He said it basically means I walk like a retard. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

Rule 1 of swing jumping - No kissing the black plastic.

Rule 2 - Don’t smash your face like an idiot

We’re batting 1 for 2 here folks

Hey maybe if you stopped talking in that pig latin gibberish this guy wouldn’t be washing his hands with piss. Also I thought reporters were supposed to be hot. Nice half girl/half guy haircut thing you got going on there. Just confuses the fuck out of me.

But in all seriousness if you have to ask “This isn’t a urinal is it?” I’m pretty sure you just scrubbed your hands with piss 10 out of 10 times. Don’t even ask the question bro, if you have to second guess yourself youre fucked, that’s how piss-hands work.

Ha, what an asshole. Dude just got absolutely owned by the front of the rim.  Hey bro maybe you should have tried 3 chicks before you went to 4, no one wants to see your nutsack flying into some poor girl’s nose at 100 mphs. Or maybe you shouldn’t have layed that kiss on the front one, what is she like 14? The only thing in the world worse than a show off is a show off that moonlights as a pedophile.

So stick to draining threes and playing good but not great defense and leave the dunks to the pros. White men can’t jump,  but they can throw a mean bounce pass when the opportunity calls for it.