Fucking Putin man. Another day another dollar in the life of a real life superhero. Snapping necks and cashing checks.

I guess I shouldn’t even post things about Putin anymore because at this point its not even news. Oh look Putin has a 14 inch dick, oh look Putin just found a dinosaur and made it his butler, oh look Putin just had a glass of vodka on the moon. Nothing will phase me anymore with this guy.

PS

Hey Obama, anytime you feel like joining the game it would be much appreciated. Fuck I’ll even take a picture of you on a vespa at this point. Just give me something.

PPS

Kramer???

Swinging off buildings with home made bungy cords - check. Jumping over cars - check. Ramming Cars and being badass - check. Smashing your friends with shovels - check. Having a kickass dictator - check. Locking police cars….not so much.

Hey, can’t win em all right?

I think I need to start having a daily “whats going on in Russia” post because its literally every day that something awesome or badass happens that is worth watching. I mean one day you have Putin singing his dick off and the next you have some nutbag playing GTA with live cars.

My only question is what the fuck that guy at :12 was doing? He was walking up to the car like it was a couple of soccer moms arguing over a parking spot. Hey dude, theres a car on fire, broken glass, and roundhouse punches being thrown, pretty sure your calm conflict resolution isnt going to fly. Not to mention its Russia, since when was “talking it out” ever an option. Its either smash your car into a bunch of people or hit your friend over the head with a shovel.

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You knew scally cap was getting involved one way or another. Guys in scally caps do two things. Bet on horses and walk around looking for a brawl, that’s it.

Alright, I get it. Enough is enough. Russians are badass. Putin is the man. Swinging from towers on homemade bungy cords is fun. Just stop the bleeding already. I mean did this guy even flinch for one second? Its like he eats shovels to the head for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Didn’t even get out of his seat. And then when all is said and done his friend sits right back down at the table to drink some vodka and play some Russian roulette. You want to talk about a good time? That right there my friends is a good fucking time.

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I guess I shouldn’t be that ashamed. At least America is the most financially stable country in the world.

Source

I guess this is what you get when you have no copyright laws or laws in general. Just badass comic books with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Kicking it with the Predator and Batman. How awesome is that? Kind of makes me jealous of Russia for a second, then I remembered who runs the world and realize that a couple of sweet comic books isnt exactly a good consolation prize.

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There is no doubt in my mind that Putin was behind these. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if the movie Predator was based on Putin’s life. It was just the time Vlad took a vacation to South America and happened to kill a super intelligent/violent alien from the future.

PPS

Is Batman serious? What the fuck bro. You can’t be boning April in front of the turtles. Ever heard of guy code? Michelangelo is literally right there. Dude is about to cry like a little baby because you’re trying to lay wood in front of his face. Have some respect for once.

I guess every Russian wedding ends in a fist fight, you had this one earlier in the week and now this bush toss by the best man. I guess thats what you get for walking right on that grooms dick, trying to upstage the bride like its your day, no one is allowed to ruin the wedding except the crazy drunk uncle, those are the rules.

PS

I may hire someone to do this at my brother’s wedding. Just pay someone 500 bucks to make a scene so that I can piledrive their ass and look like a hero.

Everyone knows that if you crash a wedding the best man is legally allowed to murder you. That’s the law, and the law don’t lie.

(Newser) – In his latest effort to remind his countrymen of his machismo, Russian leader Vladimir Putin yesterday shot a gray whale with a dart from a crossbow. The prime minister, on a rubber boat in choppy seas, hit the gray whale on his fourth attempt to collect a skin sample, the Independent reports. Putin has previously been photographed shooting a tiger, fighting wildfires, flying a fighter plane, and swimming in a freezing lake.

Wildlife groups weren’t impressed by Putin’s foray into the world of whale research, Reuters notes. The International Fund for Animal Welfare issued a statement slamming Putin for staging a “save-the-whales” photo-op while the activities of a state-controlled oil company nearby threatened the same population of whales that the expedition he joined is studying.

I hate to do this, I really do. You don’t know how bad I want to spin this article in a way that shows everyone how awesome America is, talk about how it took Putin 4 shots to hit this whale, how the KGB probably beat the fuck out of the whale to make it an easy target, but I can’t. When you’re beat you’re beat, and Vladimir Putin just cock slapped me across the face.

Fucking Putin man. Always doing cool shit. The guy basically runs Russia exactly how I would (don’t know if that’s exactly a good thing). Just totally dismisses actual governing for Macho activities. Like yeah I know our country is poor as fuck but watch me kill this bear with my bear hands, now who’s going to vote against me?

And people call Obama a genius because he gives good speeches. Obama can talk the talk but Putin can walk the walk. He’s got class, he’s got style, and frankly I kind of wish he was our president for a week or two. Just take him for a test spin and see what crazy shit he could scheme up. Then we would all probably die from poverty and communism but it would be fun while it lasted.

Frisky - Is this tattooed cat for real? At first glance, you might think it’s a product of cat Photoshop. But, as it turns out, there is a trend in Russia where people are having their hairless Sphynx cats tattooed

What the fuck Russia? It wasn’t enough to have a donkey go parasailing? Now you have to go get your cats inked up? Thats messed up vlad, messed up.

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I know its just a household cat, but that thing could kick my ass. Just look at it, dude is just putting the stare on saying “step to me”. Sorry tat cat, I’m not fucking with you, I love my life too much.

Looks like a fucking blast. I guess this is what happens when you get your ass worked by America in the Cold War. Dems Da Breaks.

Gotta love the Russians. As soon as it gets over 100 degrees they start strapping animals to parachutes and letting them go, its like theyve never been in hot weather before and they have no idea how to act.

Its cool guys, you can just chill at the beach and drink some warm vodka like everyone else, no need to strap your 401k to a parachute and launch it into space.  That donkey is expensive for christ sakes.