What was up with Ted Ginn right there? How can you interrupt a bitch-fest between your starting quarterback and head coach during the most important game of the season? Have some better timing next time bro.

PS

RIP Samurai Mike’s coaching career

Running the 2 minute offense today with picks, lets hope I dont puke…

picks

Tennessee @ Kansas City -4 - Because the Chiefs need it more

Baltimore @ Cleveland +3.5 - Because the Ravens aren’t for real

Washington +7 @ Jacksonville - Because you never bet against Rex Grossman in December

San Francisco +2.5 @ St Louis - Because someone has to win the west

New England -9 @ Buffalo  - Because this is the last meaningful game the Pats have until mid January

Detroit +3.5 @ Miami - Because those Lions are HOT

NYJ @ Chicago -2.5 -Because Sanchez and his feet licking coach can’t win on the road 2 weeks in a row

San Diego @ Cincinnati +8 - Because I cant quit Carson Palmer

Indianapolis @ Oakland +3 - Because if its christmas in Tom Cable’s house you know the shitter is full

Houston @ Denver +3 - Because Andre Johnson rocked my world with this ankle injury bullshit

Seattle +6.5 @ Tampa Bay - Because my favorite coach still has a couple of bullets in his holster

NYG @ Green Bay -3 - Because the Giants are going to keep crumbling

Minnesota + 14 @ Philadelphia - Because Joe Webb sucks but 14 pts is too many

Total of the day - Pats @ Bills Over 44
Enjoy your sunday.

Will Either of these games be good? Probably not. Do either of these games matter? No. Will I be watching every second? You bet your fucking ass I will.

My only question is do you think Big Ben is pissed that he has to play on a Thursday night? Everyone knows people like to get their fuck on on Thursday nights. And If anyone likes to take advantage of drunk women and do some good old fashioned sexual assaulting its Big Ben. He must be pissed that he has to play football tonight instead of locking women in bar bathrooms.

Panthers @ Steelers -14

Navy @ San Diego State -3

PS

Tomorrow will be a little lighter than usual but we’ll still have a few posts throughout the day for all you miserable fucks stuck at work.

So you remember when Danimal and I said we weren’t going to lose a bowl pick this season? Well guess what idiots, we said that shit on opposite day. We’re going to lose EVERY pick this bowl season. Because at the end of the day what’s more impressive, being rich and awesome or being poor and forced to sell your kidneys so you can pay your bookie? I’ll take the latter all day everyday.

Utah +17 @ Boise State

Sitting on my couch. Incredible

I’m not going to lie, I’ve had December 20th circled on the calendar for QUITE some time now. Because if there is one bowl that really gets me amped its the Beef O Brady’s bowl. Tradition, prestige, on field excellence, you name it, Beef O Brady’s has it. So get your popcorn ready folks, tonight christmas comes early.

Southern Miss +2.5 @ Louisville.

PS

Has anyone ever been to a Beef O Brady’s?

That was easily the funniest play I have ever seen in football. Nothing better than a fat man running incredibly slow on live television. And I know they said Dan Connolly went out of the game with a head injury but come on, lets get real. Guy just couldn’t catch his breath. He’s still probably laying on the ground with the oxygen hook up right this second.

PS

I’m officially off Chris Colinsworth. I used to like him but he’s gotten too wordy. Guy doesnt even breath during the game, just long winded explanation after long winded explanation. Not to mention I’m pretty sure he called 20 different plays last night the best play he has ever seen. He’s like Tony Robbins in the booth, just hammering us with positive thinking for 3 hours straight.

Stop with the compliments Chris, I’m American, I want to hate, its in my blood.

Pretty safe to say that Matt Dodge and every Giants fan in New York is on suicide watch. Blowing a 21 point lead in the 4th quarter and having a punt returned for a td with no time left? Brutal. I almost felt bad, then I remembered I hate New York.

PS

There arent enough tissues in the world for this guy right about now.

Its the most annoying 2 weeks of the season. Fantasy Football Playoffs. It honestly doesn’t get any worse. Everyone wants to tell you about their matchup, wants advice on who they should start, tells you how they got screwed and how they should of won*. Newsflash dickfuck, no one cares about your fantasy team. Keep that shit to yourself. Or better yet, do what I do, and handle that shit on the field. Get your team properly motivated for their game, watch film on your opponent, get everyone focused. You think my players have motivation problems? Fuck no. Because I’m the best fantasy coach in the world.

*And No, I’m not bitter about this team missing the playoffs, I actually loved this team. They were so bad they ended up being good. Which makes no sense, kind of like drafting 3 Buffalo Bills.

Picks…

Detroit @ Tampa Bay -5.5 - Drew Stanton, you magnificent quarterback you. Leading your Lions to a whole SEVEN points. Is it too late to get Drew on the Pro Bowl Ballot?

Buffalo +5.5 @ Miami - At what point do you think I need to stop getting ice coffee? Or have I already reached the point of no return? Every time I go to get coffee they look at me like I have a gigantic dick hanging from my forehead. I get it, its cold as balls outside, but who cares, I like iced coffee. So, fuck you starbucks, don’t judge me. I’ll order ice coffees when its -10 degrees because I’m a man and I get to do what I want.

Jacksonville +4.5 @ Indianapolis - I’m so torn. Half of me wants the Colts to miss the playoffs because that would be awesome but the other half thinks no Colts in the playoff means no ill-timed  Peyton Manning interception. You see my dilemma here? It just wouldn’t be January if Peyton wasn’t throwing back breaking picks.

Continue reading “The Hot Glove’s Week 15 Picks” »

Yao Ming and the Houston Rockets will examine all options before determining his future after another stress fracture was found in his left ankle Thursday morning. Yao, as is his nature, was upbeat in light of a setback that throws a shadow over his future. “I haven’t died,” he said. “Right now I’m drinking a beer and eating fried chicken. What were you expecting, a funeral?” Only a few days ago, a source close to Yao expected the 7-foot-6 All-Star center to return to action from a bone bruise in his left ankle for the Rockets’ post-Christmas three-game homestand that starts Dec. 27 against the Washington Wizards. Yao was more optimistic, saying he was targeting the team’s three-game road swing through California that begins Sunday. But a routine exam this week discovered his injury, sustained in the first quarter of a Nov. 19 game against the Wizards, was a fracture.

I can not believe it. Yao Ming? Injured? What a turn of events. I never saw this one coming. But in all seriousness, can we finally put an end to this Yao Ming thing? He seems like a nice enough guy and all but he literally can not handle walking 10 feet without breaking his foot. Why keep trying? Its not worth it.  He was good for like two years, and if he didnt jam in Shaq’s face back in the day his hype would have been significantly less.

Its time to hang it up Yao. Take your millions and call it quits. Besides, as hyped up as you were I still would take Eric Montross or Michael Olowakandi over your ass every day and twice on Sunday.

PS

I do have to give Yao credit for his attitude. When life hands Yao lemons, or in this case his thousandth broken foot, Yao eats fried chicken and drinks beer.